I went to see Thor: The Dark World last night. It was awesome. My friends and I were talking afterwards, and one particular friend and I were trying to articulate our opinion about it. We just ended up making vague "mind-is-spinning" gestures and saying "feels".
Everything is spoiler-free except for numbers 13 and 19. Number 3 is a nonspecific spoiler.
- Even if the story itself hadn't been awesome, the movie would've been worthwhile for the visual effects alone. DAT CGI. If attractive things are sometimes referred to as "eye candy", then Thor: The Dark World is an eye cheesecake. Eye Ben and Jerry's.* The panoramic shots of Asgard are stunning. The gravitational weirdness with the truck is mind-bending. Every little piece of tendril-looking magic or energy is awesome.
- Alternate titles: Thor: Our CGI Is Better Than Yours, Thor: Yes, We Do Realize That Half Of You Are Just Here For Tom Hiddleston, Thor: Look At All This Power We Have Over Your Feels, Thor: You Didn't Really Need Your Eardrums Anyway, Did You?, Thor: Take That, DC!, Thor: Not Just Another Placeholder Until Avengers: Age of Ultron, and
- Asgardian funerals are beautiful. It was reminiscent of both Boromir's funeral: person is placed in boat (with sword, regardless of gender), and sent down a river and over a waterfall. Someone then shoots a flaming arrow at the boat, like in the funeral of Hoster Tully in A Storm of Swords. There are also Tangled-esque floating lanterns. Conclusion: I want to have my funeral in Asgard. The huge downside to all this, though, was the fact that a funeral was even necessary, because I hate it when beloved characters need funerals.
- This happened.
- Spoiler: Thor still has biceps that probably set off security alarms in airports.
Darcy: Look at you. Still all muscly and everything.
- I didn't get the Loki horse joke that I wanted. I realize that a horse joke would go over the heads of 80% of the audience, but if you would have been able to catch it, it would've been hilarious. It's like wanting a hobbit joke for Martin Freeman in, well, everything.
- Loki also did not say "I do what I want". What is Marvel holding out on? It's also worth noting that we didn't see the "reindeer games" helmet at all.
- We got to see Sif beating people up. And being sassy. And also beating people up. And not forming the love triangle with Thor and Jane that it seemed like the trailer was hinting at.
- If you've ever wanted to see Christopher Eccleston with Legolas hair, now is your chance. Also, are we not going to talk about the fact that Christopher Eccleston's character essentially destroyed his own army in order to deal a crushing blow to his enemy? Did he feel some déjà vu while filming that?
- Things blew up in this movie. I want to rewatch the entire thing and just count the number of explosions, because it has to be huge.
- I had heard that Darcy would have a bigger role in this movie, that she would be more than just the comic-relief sidekick and the character that enables these movies to pass the Bechdel Test. While her role was a little bigger, it still didn't extend far beyond sidekick and comic relief. I would've liked to see more from her.
- Why can Chris Hemsworth pull off a neater-looking half-ponytail than I can?
- That thing...that happened...I can't...I'm going to have to discuss this with spoilers. These are actual spoilers, not like the "spoiler" in number 5. If you don't want to know, read no farther (in number 13, anyway--14 is fine). Marvel did the thing, guys. Marvel killed him. You know which "him" I'm talking about. After he died, I spent the rest of the movie thinking, "Nope. He'll come back. They're not going to do that. Isn't Tom Hiddleston signed on for a few more movies yet? GAAAAH. Nope nope nope." And then the ending: ASDFJKL; WHAT JUST HAPPENED? I don't know how to deal with this. So, the denial was actually correct. But still. Then again, why wouldn't Marvel do that? Why wouldn't they take that massive opportunity to create that kind of emotion, toss it around, then throw it right back at you?
- Loki impersonating Captain America. You didn't know you wanted this until now. This might have been the best part of the entire movie. I can't wait until the GIFs start coming out.
- Loki in general. He's been imprisoned for awhile, and yet, he's still able to smart-aleck Thor. In moments of danger. This movie will not disappoint Loki lovers. He gets a fair amount of screen time, and it's all used for wonderful character development. We get lots of brother-brother moments with Thor. We see Jane Foster slap Loki. We see Loki being the annoying little brother. We get a Loki/Frigga moment. Loki has lost none of his signature charm, style, sass, manipulativeness, cunning, or anything else that makes Loki, well, Loki.
- This movie has the most baffling post-credits scene that I have ever seen. I just stared at it with a skeptical expression. Not sure if want. I found this link, and it explains it, so now it makes more sense. Still, I was in the theater, staring at it like this:
- It's getting to the point where if you go to a Marvel movie and don't stay past the credits, you're going to miss some crucial information.
- Ivan the intern. He deserves his own movie. I would watch it.
- (Actual spoilers) Two reactions to Frigga: 1. This lady is awesome. Not only is she a loving mother, she's also capable of pulling out her weapons and attacking some bad guys. 2. *sob* I wouldn't have expected her death to hurt all that much, since she didn't have much screen time in Thor. But it did, and she got some surprising moments of depth right before her end.
- Edit 11/10: I forgot about this point when I published this post, which is odd, considering it was one of the first things I pointed out to my friends while we were sitting through the credits, waiting for the post-credits scene. When the dark elves come to attack Asgard, we see Asgardian machine-gun-Star-Wars-lasers. We never see these again. The Asgardian army, instead, fights with swords (or hammers), when the lasers are clearly more effective. Why is this? One of my friends pointed out that men with swords are attractive. I cannot disagree with this. Still, Cinemasins better take note of this.
*I think this is officially one of the weirdest things I've ever written on this blog.
Have you seen Thor: The Dark World yet? If not, what are you looking forward to, if you plan to go see it?