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Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Odd/Amusing Search Terms Collection

When you run a blog, you have the opportunity to see exactly what people type into the Google search box in order to reach your site.  Most of the search results make sense.  I get hits for various character development searches, book reviews, and plot diagrams.  (People are still coming to me for Hunger Games plot diagrams that I do not have.)  But then there are some weird search terms, ones that are either amusing, inexplicable, just plain strange, or a combination of all three.  Here are some of the best ones that I have collected from this blog's stats:
  • "Did Loki killodin?"  How does one conjugate the verb "killodin"?
  • "Galbatorix death explosion"  I love how this person summed up the last 200 pages of Inheritance in three words.
  • "The villain in Eragon is Loki?"  I NEED THIS.  If someone writes (or has written) this fanfiction, point me in the right direction and I will read it. 
  • "will marvel ever put make loki love athena"  All your base are belong to us.  (Also, it looks like you need to read up on Greek and Norse mythology, because you are really far off base here.)
  • "Loki and Darcy kissing"  I ship it too, Random Search Engine User.  I ship it too.
  • "Bobby Pendragon relation to astral projection"  I have no idea what Bobby Pendragon's relation to astral projection is, but I really want to know.
  • "why I love Loki" don't know?  Can't you figure that out for yourself?
  • "can a character wants and needs"  And here we have more grammar strangeness.  For some reason, phrases like this make me think of "THEN WHO WAS PHONE?"
  • "can u help me write a letter from bronte to bruiser"  ...No.
  • "d barkley briggs and liam hemsworth"  I would pay to find out the connection between those two.
  • "epicandawesomeblogg"  Ann intriguingg searchh termm.
  • "feelings for best friends girlfriend"  1. How on earth does that get you to my blog?  2. Um, I can't help you with that.  Sorry.
  • "game of thrones is awesome and you don't know what is going to happen"  Well, I suppose...but I read A Storm of Swords.  The Red Wedding was highly un-awesome.
  • "how many pages are in the book called passenger sequel to marbury lens"  You, sir, are incredibly inefficient at finding out information on the internet.
  • "rangers apprentice burning bridges free book" 
  • "i hate your book"  I hate your book, too.  I'm glad it's mutual.
  • "i'm with the band inkpop"  Inkpop is a band?  Oh, I wish.  If someone is looking for a story on Inkpop called "I'm With The Band", because they think Inkpop still exists, I'm so sorry.  I'm so, so sorry.
  • "not sounding condescending when mentoring at -risk teens"  How on earth does that get you here?  I tried Googling that.  This site wasn't in the results.  
  • "thoughts and reactions to the "desolation of smaug" annie"  That is...oddly specific.  (Turns out, this one was my brother.)
  • "trust no one variant by robison wells book report"  Public Service Announcement: I am not here to do your homework.
  • "bodistealer" 
  • "did odin love thor more than loki?"  Someone at Marvel Studios is crying right now.  And it's not Odin.
  • "how to do the plot mountain"  That sounds like a dance move.  Slide to the left!  Slide to the right!  Bring it back now, ya'll!  One plot mountain this time!
  • "o'rant from dragonspell what are they"  I don't know.  I read the entire book (and the glossary), and I still don't know.
  • "piccolo chaotic evil to neutral good"  I've never considered my piccolo's character alignment before, but yeah, I'd definitely say that it's chaotic evil.
  • Thor 2 spoiler: "fan reaction to loki's death"  I will gladly oblige.  My reaction: 
  • "how to wash the final descent july"  The Final Descent is a book, and I don't recommend washing books.  Especially not in July.
  • "plot line resolution climax etc"  I love how this person can't be bothered to type out all the other pieces of a plot.
  • "nobody exist in my life"  What kind of trippy life do you even have?
  • "inkpop shutting down"'re over three years too late for that particular piece of tragic drama.
  • "sad person crying alone"  Did you mean...John Watson?  
    Too soon?
Does anybody recognize their search term?  Care to explain?  If you're a blogger, what's the weirdest thing someone has searched to get to your blog?
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